This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

What's Next? by Stacey Holmes

It seems I am part of a revolution and I didn’t even know it – “The Opt-Out Revolution”. Maybe you are part of it too? I am a stay-at-home mom. 26% of US women choose not to work.(1) Yes, we could discuss all the reasons women don’t go back to work. Such as, the fact that the United States remains the only major industrialized country in the world that doesn't mandate some sort of paid parental leave.(1) But I am not here to do that. I want to share my personal story.

 

While pregnant with my first child I worked in a consulting firm. The job was very demanding – long, unpredictable hours, high stress (I was working with lawyers, need I say more.), etc. I knew that I would not go back to that job after my son was born. I didn’t want to give that much of myself to a job. For the last eight years I’ve been at home with my kids. I feel fortunate to have this option. I’ve enjoyed the time with my kids. Are there days when I question my choice? Absolutely! Such as when I have to fill out those information forms that ask for “Occupation”.

Find out what's happening in San Carloswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

 

Fast forward to today. It is August, 2013 and Bam! My life has changed. Both of my children are now in school until 3 pm. As one friend related, “Congratulations! You graduated.” Yes, in a way, I guess I have. This milestone has been bittersweet. My reaction has run the gamut from elation to a sorrowful emptiness. Having quality, peaceful time in my own house. Running errands without checking my watch every five minutes. Going to lunch at Santorini instead of Speederia. On the flipside, my babies are growing up no matter how hard I try to stunt their growth. I walk by the toddler play area at Burton Park and my heart is heavy with envy. I fondly remember those days pushing my kids in the toddler swings. They were so content just to go back and forth, back and forth. Am I looking back in time with rose colored glasses? Yes.

Find out what's happening in San Carloswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

 

As I give myself permission to feel the array of emotions, I find myself faced with a question. What’s next for me? While the last eight years haven’t necessarily been the best resume builders, I realize that what I have learned far outweighs any “office” job. My children have given me some invaluable gifts. One of those gifts is the importance of choices. In our house we emphasize with our kids that you are making choices/decisions all the time. We try to point out good and not so good decisions. We want them to be aware that they have control. Hopefully when they feel they have only one choice (such as hitting their sibling), they will realize other choices are available. This focus has helped me realize that I have many choices. Before kids, I felt my path was predetermined. Of course I was going to get a practical degree. Then once I earned my expensive MBA I needed to put it to good use by working a corporate job. Now I feel much different. I just might work on that book I have wanted to write.

 

Also, being at home has shown me what passion for my “work” feels like. Those corporate jobs paid well but I had no passion. My kids show me passion in many ways – whenever my son plays baseball or when my daughter starts singing and dancing. There is my own excitement when my children really show up. For instance, on the first day of school, my son Aidan told his little sister (who, in first grade, now stays for lunch) that she could have lunch with him and his friends.

 

One thing I have asked my kids to help me with is my need to slow down. At my request, they remind me when I am going too fast. While I can’t say I am cured, I can say that they are good teachers. This has helped me to see that I don’t need to answer the “what’s next” question right away. I don’t need to save the world today – or even tomorrow.

 

Note: (1) http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/13/news/economy/women-work-force/index.html

 

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?